each day that passes makes me wonder when summer will arrive. the temperature has been rising progressively (although not steadily), and that familiar "clothes-sticking-to-the-back" feeling returns. nights are hard to bear without the fan on or the window open because of the humidity that builds up. the ac in the car will cease to stop as long as at least one passenger is present. the sun will constantly shine down, robbing us of the next shade we'll never find. but the beauty of it all is that it's the way of nature. besides, it's my favorite season. so i'm not complaining.
so summer shall be the topic of this entry. as the seasons revolve around, i begin to remember all these events that happened in years past. take for example, the summer of '92, i went back to japan and reunited with my relatives, only to be torn apart again. i remember crying my eyes out about it, being homesick and everything. now, it's this distant, pleasant memory. all things in the past, no matter how horrible it seemed at any given point, will turn to golden treasure in the near future. it took me so long to figure this out. but now that i have, everything is that much better.
i don't concur when some people say to, "forget the bad times, remember the good". i would like an explanation for that statement, because i find that rather difficult to do, if not impossible. life wasn't made out to be a smooth, pedestrian road. everyone has their bumps, cracks, stains, whatever you want to call them. without remembering the bad, how the heck are you going to remember the good? think of it this way: everything in this world is compared. it's sad, i know; everyone is compared to someone else, everything is compared to something else. one side will alwas look inferior compared to the other; it's just the only way for our hostile society to comprehend between "right" and "wrong", whatever those are. but see, without the bad, there is nothing to compare "good" with. wouldn't that mean we wouldn't know the difference between a great memory and a horrible one? personally, when i look back at my life, i want to be able to recall both the good and the bad.
to me, the memories of summer, though rough at the beginning, end up being incredibly great. i can't remember a single summer where, at the end of the season, i felt bad about the things i had done and the things i had experienced. each summer has brought so much color into my life, and i guess that's why it's my favorite season. there's a certain vitality in the summer months... i don't know what else to call it. it's a vibe of endless time, i guess. we kind of abandon time, in a sense. we live freely, unbound to deadlines, unaware of minutes or hours. it's not like i'm taking this time for granted, believe me... but it's nice to know that there's nothing due on monday, or that i have to be somewhere by any given time of day. the time just kind of tags along with you, and it's not the other way around like it usually is.
then, there's the nature part of this season. i really, truly like summer for its characteristics. the day seems so much longer. it doesn't matter if the sun is up or down; the fact is, the night stays young. it's a great feeling, just sitting around on a patio or something, doing nothing, in silence. night time is most beautiful during the summer. well, at least i think so.
i can't wait until summer arrives.
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